The
Crooked Man
Mateus | Empyreum | Ward 7 - Plot 31
♣ ♦ ♥ ♠
A haven for the mysterious and maligned souls of society awaits you within; a sanctum in which you may socialise and skirmish without fear of scorn
Code of Conduct
By entering The Crooked Man you hereby agree to abide by the following statements.
Failure to respect the rules and atmosphere of the establishment will result in IC and/or OOC consequences on a case-by-case basis. Repeat violations will result in you being blacklisted from the venue.
OOC
We do not tolerate homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, bigotry, or hate speech of any kind
Please keep graphic descriptions of a sexual or gory nature private & between consenting parties
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and to expel anyone from the establishment should they feel their behaviour warrants their removal
Players and characters must be 21+ to enter the venue during business hours
Consent is required at all times when engaging with our staff or patrons
Do not harass other players/characters either IC or OOC
Lalafells are not permitted to engage in ERP of any kind on site
Shout/Yell are for staff use only
Please do not spam actions or emote log messages
Minions inside the venue will be treated as IC. If the venue is at capacity we ask that you please dismiss minions to prioritise players
IC
We do not tolerate homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, bigotry, or hate speech of any kind
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and to expel anyone from the establishment should they feel their behaviour warrants their removal
You must be 21+ to enter the venue during business hours
Consent is required at all times when engaging with our staff or patrons
Do not harass our staff or patrons, or ask them invasive questions unless invited to do so
Fights are to be kept inside the pit, the private chambers, or taken outside
Keep your pants on outside of private chambers
No destruction of house property
House Rules
By entering The Crooked Man you hereby agree to abide by the following statements.
Failure to respect the rules and atmosphere of the establishment will result in IC and/or OOC consequences on a case-by-case basis. Repeat violations will result in you being blacklisted from the venue.
OOC
We do not tolerate homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, bigotry, or hate speech of any kind
Please keep graphic descriptions of a sexual or gory nature private & between consenting parties
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and to expel anyone from the establishment should they feel their behaviour warrants their removal
Players and characters must be 21+ to enter the venue during business hours
Consent is required at all times when engaging with our staff or patrons
Do not harass other players/characters either IC or OOC
Lalafells are not permitted to engage in ERP of any kind on site
Shout/Yell are for staff use only
Please do not spam actions or emote log messages
Minions inside the venue will be treated as IC. If the venue is at capacity we ask that you please dismiss minions to prioritise players
IC
We do not tolerate homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, bigotry, or hate speech of any kind
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and to expel anyone from the establishment should they feel their behaviour warrants their removal
You must be 21+ to enter the venue during business hours
Consent is required at all times when engaging with our staff or patrons
No killing, no dismemberment, no disfigurement
Do not harass our staff or patrons, or ask them invasive questions unless invited to do so
Fights are to be kept inside the pit, the private chambers, or taken outside
Keep your pants on outside of private chambers
No destruction of house property
Fights
By entering our ring or booking one of our fighters you agree to abide by the following rules of engagement. These rules apply to all public fights and may be applied to private fights at staff members' discretion
No killing, no dismemberment, no disfigurement
No endangerment of bystanders; you must keep your attacks to your your opponent only
No destruction of house property
Matches have a time limit of 30 minutes
Fights are conducted using /random rolls
Combatants are requested to use the /yell channel when in the ring during their match
The winner of a match is decided by the first contender to land 3 hits on their opponent, or else whichever combatant has landed the most hits within the allotted time
In the event of a draw matches will be decided by sudden death, each participant will roll and the higher value is the victor
If a fighter is inactive or does not respond ic or ooc for 10 minutes they forfeit the match
We ask that you keep the length of your combat emotes to a maximum of 2 posts
Only fighters and the fight coordinator may enter the fighting pit during business hours
Magic and unconventional abilities are permitted during matches so long as they abide by the other rules of engagement
Private Services
By booking one of our staff members you agree to abide by the following rules. These rules apply to all private services be they sfw or nsfw
Staff reserve the right to refuse anyone service and are not required to disclose their reasons to patrons
You must be 21 years of age or older to book private services with our staff
Explicit consent is required from both staff and patron before entry to a private chamber is granted
Service rates are decided by each individual staff member and are paid directly to them
The House handles all room bookings & reserve the right to evict patrons who behave inappropriately or make our staff feel uncomfortable or unsafe
There are no refunds once a transaction has been made and consent from both parties has been established
Mateus | Empyreum | Ward 7 - Plot 31
Mondays | 6:00 - 9:00 PM PST | 9:00 - 12:00 PM EST
Services
Pit Fights
We at the Crooked Man understand the desire for a little recreational violence, and appreciate the thrill of a good fight met on even terms and in good spirit. During our business hours we invite our House fighters and patrons alike to partake in bouts of combat in our custom built - and heavily reinforced - fighting pit.One of our time slots per week is open for pre-registration. All other fights are booked on site during business hours. Once a fight has begun new participants will not be accepted, and registrations for each time slot closes fifteen minutes before that fight begins.Fight Schedule (PST):
Match 1: 6:20pm - 6:50pm
Match 2: 7:00pm - 7:30pm (Pre-reg)
Match 3: 7:40pm - 8:10pm
Match 4: 8:20pm - 8:50pmFight Schedule (EST):
Match 1: 9:20pm - 9:50pm
Match 2: 10:00pm - 10:30pm (Pre-reg)
Match 3: 10:40pm - 11:10pm
Match 4: 11:20pm - 11:50pm
Private Services
Many of our staff are available for hire for private bouts for an hour or several. Our staff set their limits and their own rates, we merely provide a space in which to feel comfortable whilst you enjoy their individual skills and charms.
Private Rooms
Here at the Crooked Man we have a selection of beautifully decorated bespoke rooms in which you might choose to spend your evening alone or with company. The House asks only a modest fee of 80,000 gil per night for their use during business hours. Room fees are waived with the purchase of any other private service and do not apply outside of business hours.
Your Company for the Evening
Here at the Crooked Man we employ a variety of colourful and charismatic characters, adept at a wide array of skills. Whether you require a drink, a conversation, or to pit your fighting prowess against another we have someone to fulfil your needs.Many of our staff are available not only for public rp on the main floors but can also be booked for a variety of private rp services. All inquiries are to be made at the main desk
Management
Somebody has to keep this House running smoothly.If you have any inquiries or issues please field them to one of the establishments proprietors. Be it big or small they are here to help
Vahn Ashuun
Occupation:
Founder & Manager
Age: 28
Pronouns: he/they
Sexuality: gay
Race: Miqo'te
♥
C'vett Tia
Occupation:
Manager / Bartender / Fighter
Age: 26
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: miqo'te
Staff
The House would be nothing without our weird and wonderful staff. During business hours they are here to attend to your needs and desires as befits their individual skills and interests.If you are interested in private rp with any of our staff please field all inquiries to the main desk
Shard Tsurugi
Occupation:
Fighter / Homeowner
Age: Late 20's
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: disastrous
Race: Elezen(?)
♥
Parisa Sul'hallows
Occupation:
Fighter / Hospitality
Age: 396
Pronouns: they/them (she/her secondary)
Sexuality: demisexual
Race: Fae Dragon-variant Entelechy
♥
Wilhelmine 'Billie' Nuso
Occupation:
Fighter / Hospitality
Age: 21
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: demisexual
Race: miqo'te (keeper)
♥
Caliban
Occupation:
Bartender
Age: 28
Pronouns: they/them
Sexuality: ?
Race: miqo'te (keeper)
♥
Baba
Role:
Any and all
Age: Looks to be early 30's
Pronouns: Any/All
Sexuality: Anyone!
Race: Miqo'te
♥
Ryomen Kodokuna
Role:
Any
Age: Appearance is mid 30's
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: pansexual
Race: Wolf
♥
Ginchiyo Akamura
Role:
Hospitality
Age: Unsure, but possibly around 28
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: pansexual
Race: raen / dragon hybrid
♥
Alejandra
Role:
Hospitality, Bartender, etc.
Age: early 30's
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: don't worry about it
Race: miqo'te (keeper of the moon)
♥
Ciren 'The Swallowtail' Faea
Role:
Fighter, Hospitality
Age: 24 summers
Pronouns: she/her/they(?)
Sexuality: demisexual
Race: raen
♥
August Oen
Role:
Hospitality, Bartender, Bookkeeper
Age: 30+
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: pansexual
Race: miqo'ra (seeker/unknown)
♥
Porsche nan Cato
Occupation:
Local prep-jock
Age: 82
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: viera
♥
Athos Cinderhell
Occupation:
Hospitality / Bartender
Age: wouldn't you like to know weatherboy
Pronouns: he/they
Sexuality: Yeah
Race: jackal (veena viera)
♥
Theo Draumur
Occupation:
"Customer Service"/ Fighter / Medic
Age: 51
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: viera
♥
R'urik Derane
Occupation:
Whatever fits
Age: 31? 33? somewhere there
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: Often
Race: Miqo'te (seeker)
♥
Shai Mirthfang
Role:
Hospitality
Age: 28 (estimated)
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: viera
♥
Vide Dei-ijla / Raian Hallows
Role:
Fighter / Hospitality
Age: 142
Pronouns: all, depends on their mood
Sexuality: pansexual
Race: Voidsent Hybrid
♥
Laurel Dionaea
Role:
Hospitality
Age: late 30's
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: midlander but watch out
♥
Isse Naeuri
Role:
Hospitality, Fighter
Age: 22
Pronouns: she/they
Sexuality: bisexual
Race: half raen, half lupin
♥
Tora 'The Dragon of Ul'dah'
Role:
Fighter, Bartender, etc.
Age: 34
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: gay
Race: steppe xaela
♥
Sviarr Gymir
Role:
Announcer, Occasional Fighter
Age: appears in his mid 20's
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: demiromantic pansexual
Race: seems raen enough!
♥
Menu
Food and drinks have a fixed price of 3000 gil per item.
Any additional gil offered will be considered a tip
Alcoholic Drinks
Most of our alcoholic beverages can be made without alcohol upon request
The Stampede
A flaming shot with enough kick to send you straight to the seventh hell. Made with beer, amaretto, and overproof rum
Hunters' Moon
A sumptuous and sinful red cocktail perfect for a wild night. Made with golden rum, sweet red vermouth, bitters, and a splash of sweet dark berry juice
Xenoglossy
An enigmatic cocktail that'll leave you speechless, Made from vodka, blackberry liqueur, syrup, apple juice, and sparkling lustre dust
Ectoplasm
A spectral green cocktail chilled to spooky perfection. Made with gin, cherry and herbal liqueurs, and a dash of lime juice
Black Magic
A potent drink with a full body and deep flavour. Made with dark stout, bourbon, pomegranate syrup, and a splash of blackberry juice
Red Sky
A light and refreshing drink with a piercing kick. Made with spiced rum, strawberry juice, ginger beer and a splash of lime
Liquor
We have a wide selection of fine brandy, vodka, absinthe, gin, rum, tequila, and whiskey
Wines
The House offers an array of reds, whites, rosés, and rice wines
Spirits
Whatever your taste may be, our large selection of beer, ale, mead, and lager will leave you satisfied
Non-Alcoholic Drinks
All of our beverages can have your liquor of choice added upon request
Hades' Delight
A sweetly sour mocktail with a tart kick that you won't soon forget. Made with pomegranate juice, lemonade, a splash of lime, and muddled mint
Corrupted Crystal
A fiesty mocktail with all the bite of a whiskey sour. Made with lemon juice, sugar syrup, egg white, and camellia black tea for that bourbon flavour
White Knight
All the rich and indulgent flavour of a cream liqueur with none of the booze. Made with our house espresso, double cream, maple syrup, and a pinch of cinnamon and vanilla
Tea
We offer a range of black and green teas, including seasonal specials
Currently it's our toffee chai blend
Coffee
If you like your coffee black and bitter or milky and sweet, our staff can whip up a brew to suit your caffeine needs
Other
Every good bar has its mixers, and we'd be happy to serve any of those up for you as their own drink just how you like them
Food
Salmon Skewers
Fresh caught salmon skewers marinated and drizzled with a sweet and sticky teriyaki sauce, topped with sesame seeds
Jalapeño Poppers
Crunchy, cheesy, and sour, with a spicy kick so you can feel the heat in or out of the pit
From the Beyond Burger
A vegetarian-safe burger so packed with flavour and tasty trimmings, it'll satisfy even the meatiest of hungers. Served with a side of seasoned fries an a dip of choice
Ishgardian Mess
A cup full of sweetness that's equally indulgent and refreshing. Made from whipped cream, fresh berries, and crumbled meringue
Pride Menu
A selection of specially prepared drinks for the Pride season.
Each order comes with a small gift to help you get into the celebratory mood.
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Food and drinks have a fixed price of 3000 gil per item.
Any additional gil offered will be considered a tip
Bloodletter
La Noscean blood orange and grapefruit juice mixed with tequila and spiced simple syrup, topped with seltzer and lime, with a spicy sweet salted rim, this drinks guaranteed to give you a bloody good time.
Drop of Poison
Apple juice, pea flower simple syrup, seltzer and a generous helping of The First Bourbon, straight from our friends at The Still and Strings come together in this refreshing iced drink.We promise the name is just for fun. (Probably.)
New Moon
The perfect drink to sip in the summer sun - or moon - made from rum, ube halaya, coconut water and pineapple juice, topped with coconut whipped cream and crushed blueberries.
Spellbound
A spellbinding lavender and honey drink, full of frozen blueberries, mint, lime, seltzer and white rum, muddled, sure to inspire you to mix things up a little yourself.
Dreameater
Our dreamiest offering - fruity blue and pink blood orange, mango and passion fruit liqueurs mingle together in this boozey treat, topped with lemon-lime seltzer for a bubbley touch.
Fruit Bat
Sémillon dry white wine, courtesy of Bel Canto Vineyards, honey and lime for the base of this drink, filled to the brim with every colour of fruit under the sun. Chilled and topped with brandy and bubbles, the Fruit Bat awaits!
Pride Brawl
Looking for a bit of bloodshed tonight? Make your way to our reception desk to be paired up for a fight!Upon completing the fight, Wins will net you 2 points, a Loss will net you 1! Your points can be cashed in whenever you like at Reception, should any of our prizes catch your eye.
PRIZES
3 points = A Rare Dye
4 points = Orchestrion Roll
5 points = Minion
7 points = Emote
Lore
The Crooked Man stands as a sanctuary for the weird and the wonderful, as a place where misunderstood souls might find solace, companionship, and respite from a world often too eager to judge and revile them. All are accepted within our walls, so long as they abide by our rules and do no undue harm beneath our roof.
We who maintain this House welcome you, dear stranger, that you may soon become a friend.
(WIP)
(WIP)
(WIP)
(WIP) This will be a little excerpt about how the management got involved in all this
(WIP) This is a closing paragraph about the place now and a teaser for the future!
Oddities of Interest
Respect these rules or I'm going to burn your fucking house down. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillRespect these rules or I'm going to burn your fucking house down. Ut enim ad minim veniam,
Mini Games
Please do not link this page to patrons. This is a secret page just for staff where a repository of our current mini game carrds can be found and used as needed.
BEACH BASH
House Fighters will be stationed around the beach, available to be challenged!
Guests may also challenge each other - simply check in with a staff member so we can award you your points!Winning against another guest will net you 1 Point, and winning against a House Fighter will net you 2 Points per win!
PRIZES
3 points = A Rare Dye
4 points = Orchestrion Roll
5 points = Minion
8 points = Mount
Looking for a drink, or perhaps a booking? Our barstaff and reception will be more than happy to tend to you in the front yard of The Crooked Man.